Filling in the Gaps
I am in the process of moving my home. Again. I do this every three to five years.
My girlfriend asked me when I was going to stop moving, as if I were filling in for some inadequacy.
I don’t know why I like to move, but I do seem to have to shake up my life every three to five years with a house, a new direction for my work, or a new relationship (though I think I have the one that will stick this time).
I found this pattern similar to most of the high-achieving women I interviewed. Mostly, the moves have been for the best. Yet, good choices or bad, they seemed to have to shake up their lives every three to five years. Do you relate to this?
I have heard that men have a “nothing box” in their brains. When you ask them what they are thinking and they say, “nothing” they are telling the truth.
We are not blessed with this biology. Women have a larger “corpus callosum” than men, which connects the two hemispheres of the brain, making us prone to overthinking and multi-tasking (though we are quick to find solutions and creative options). Therefore, we fill in the gaps, even when on vacation. I would bet high-achieving women have a colossal corpus callosum.
Have you found a way to enjoy the gaps instead of filling them in? Please share your ideas on my blog.
LOL – Hi Marcia – the moniker,
“Burden of Greatness” fits so well to this “corpus callosum” you speak of.
You’re great to point out things like a woman’s overthinking and multi-tasking as biological – seems like a great thing to know so we don’t have to be so hard on ourselves.
Just want to mention how much I appreciate your nuggets of wisdom. It’s always quite refreshingly informative.
To simplified success!
Mo Bailey
P.S. – Please tell your subscribers to check out your Awarded (for being “Caught in the Act of Amazing!”) Q & A Interview (they don’t need to subscribe to see this) if they did not see it at: http://www.write4good.com/2008/awd08-MarciaReynolds.html
Marcia:
I read your email while I was taking a break from reading the real estate section in the LA Times! Seriously. I move about every three years. I have moved 7 times in the last four years which is a lot, even for me.
I find that moving keeps me “lean” in terms of the stuff I accumulate and makes me prioritize. I also have a chance to live in different places in the amazing, crazy and diverse town that is LA.
Thanks for making me feel like less of a freak! Especially when so many of my friends greet me with “Where are you living now?”
Kit
I completely understand about the moving! In the past year I have moved twice (cross country even!). I feel like I’m settled….. for now!
I “fill my gap” by going to school, which actually plays into that “over-achieving” part of my soul! But each time I receive a degree ( to date I have four)it pushes me to want more! I think “since I’ve done this…what else can I do!”
It has puzzled my family, and makes my daughters crazy (they too are high-achievers, and I keep setting the bar higher for them…LOL…LOL…!) As far as the men go…well that’s a totally sad story, my energy is just not into maintaining that type of relationship! I get more joy out of obtaining various degrees and of course moving every three to five years……good luck and if you every need any help (moving), I’m there…LOL>>>LOL>>>LOL>>>>
Linda, I have four degrees as well, in between houses. It took me many years to find a man that was strong enough to give way to my obsessions. Moving, learning, attacking new challenges…the restless spirit must be fed!