Perfectly authentic
One of the facts about many high-achieving women that boggles me is around the concept of perfection. I generally see high-achievers as risk takers. Yet if you are a true perfectionist, you will probably avoid doing things you can’t do well. Or if you discover you can’t do it well, you give up trying.
This might work for a few things like biochemistry or extreme sports. But what about dancing? Or speaking a foreign language? Or taking an improv class?
The most humiliating experience I ever had was when I attended my first improv acting class. I attended a week-long camp in the woods in New York. I fumbled and mumbled through every scene and hid out from my fellow campers in the evening. Yet it ended up being one of the best things I have ever done for myself.
Not only did I live through this nightmare, I met an acting coach who gave me back myself in it’s entirety (not just the parts I knew I was good at). Her name is Carol Fox Prescott. She brought me back in touch with the silly, sexy, loving woman that I had lost contact with in all my years of being the perfect achiever. I found that when I am not perfect in front of thousands, I am perfectly authentic.
What are you missing because the first few times you tried it you didn’t think it was much fun (the most common rationalization for fearing failure or humiliation)? What won’t you try because you don’t think you’ll be good at it? What holds you back from learning something new?
If you have a story of “getting past looking silly” to find your joy, please share it. We could all use the support.
Rock climbing…SCUBA diving…improv classes…snow skiing…back packing…belly dancing! I went into ALL of these activities feeling really fearful, awkward and self conscious and came out of them feeling empowered and alive!
Marcia, thank you for sharing your improv experience. I can relate…
I experienced my “a ha” moment in a singing class called “The Natural Singer” which took place a week after 9/11 at The Open Center located not far from the site of the WTC. Not many people showed up but I was determined to forge ahead. When it was my turn to sing, the teacher (Claude Stein) sensed my trepidation and questioned me about my fears…yes, it was about sounding “imperfect” and “fear of humiliating myself”…AND the tapes playing in my head of my father telling me how worthless it was to aspire to be a singer…with my teacher’s guidance I belted out my song “Come Rain or Come Shine” with notes coming from my soul as he played the piano and telling me to sing out and let my father “hear me” finally getting out “my song” in all its glory. Since then I have had so much more confidence about performing. This winter I am planning to do my standup comedy act again and will garner strength from knowing it’s not about being “perfect”, it’s about being my authentic self!
Thanks for the reminder!
exemplary work. You have gained a new reader. Please keep up the good work and I eagerly await more of the interesting posts.