Needing someone doesn’t make you needy
I have a friend who’s relationship was rocky for years. She is a powerful executive coach who is asked to speak on leadership world-wide. When she met her boyfriend, he was the marketing VP for a well-known global corporation. During their relationship, he moved on to creating his own consultancy. Their travels and changes in their lives made for a bumpy relationship.
Once, while visiting my friend, we made a quick stop at her boyfriend’s to give him something. They had broken up for the upteenth time. I know the stop was a way for her to see him, so I busied myself looking at pictures in his hallway while they talked.
I the middle of their hushed argument, my friend blurted out, “You have no idea how much I need you.”
After a long moment of silence, he said, “I would have never known.”
The happy ending…that conversation led to them getting back together. They are now married.
This was an incredible lesson for me. We strong women often feel we need to tough it out on our own. We forget to give others the gift of letting them help us. Do you ever withdraw from others or reject suggestions and offers of help from the people you love?
What will it take for you to open your arms and accept help or allow yourself to be comforted?
Vulnerability is a strength. It allows us all to connect and heal together. When times are tough, we all need to put our arms around each other so we can rise up as one, even more powerful than we can by ourselves.
6 Responses to “Needing someone doesn’t make you needy”
Please Wait
Going it alone is an impossible task.
your words of wisdom are comforting.
Hi Marcia,
today i started to write a mission statement with the inspiration of steven covey’s first things first and 7 habits of highly effective people. while pondering over myself,my paradigms once more i realized also how much i avoided support, help, even advice from others. i had to be always in charge, knew everything, i could never be defeated. but with this trait there is one very negative outcome: it leaves very limited space for personal improvement and mechanic interpersonal relationships.
Sibel, your comment is both hard-hitting and inspiring. Thank you for sharing your experience with many of us who are also “loner” women. Hopefully, we create a community and override this silly habit.
Hi from Istanbul again
You’re very welcome:)
forgot to add:you inspired about one issue. i shall include ‘vulnerability’ trait to relationship power in my personal power inventory and work on it this month:)Really i feel very empowered every time i recall to read my powers.
After putting together my mission statement, i shall intent to memorize it along with my personal power inventory.
Amen. A woman who read my horoscope chart decades ago told me I had come into this world to learn how to accept.
I keep finding myself putting myself into situations where I have to tough things out on my own, keeping a barrier between me and those who genuinely want to help me.
When will I finally, really accept that it’s OK to let others help?!