Comments on: What part of you do you keep in exile?

By: Carly

Carly — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 01:16:45 +0000

Thank you, Dr. M. Great stuff! Through the support of my job coach, I recently had a small breakthrough at work as a senior marketing officer at a male-dominated organization. I have finally experienced how much more influential I can be and powerful I feel when I “own” my true self — and my imperfections. It has taken 46 years of soul-searching, counseling, studying and practice to be “in the moment” in an authentic way instead of striving to be perfect. So I’m with Carolina — let’s share this message with our sisters, to encourage them to see their imperfections as strengths rather than weaknesses, and to let them know that “perfection” is over-rated.

By: Carolina

Carolina — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 08:24:21 +0000

Hi Marcia, this is a great Story! And it is indeed what I see on my confident clients, the fear of building the place of power and leadership in the feminine identity – love, grace, splendor. I truly believe is time to pass the message to all the wonderful women!. Today, at the age of 34, I am feeling comfortable in my feminine skin. Took a long time!

By: Beth Young

Beth Young — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 20:34:11 +0000

This touched a nerve with me—trying to learn several news roles simultaneously at age 23 as a wife, nursing grad in my first job after graduation, being a step-mom to 3 little girls, and trying to look like I knew what I was doing—all the while estranged in some significant ways from my parents and family of origin….suffice to say I was out of touch with feelings on many levels. Still trying to heal wounds, mostly inflicted by me, within a grossly intact marriage/family.

By: admin

admin — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:35:50 +0000

So true…I too have a fear of speaking foreign languages. I’ve taken beginning Spanish at least five times in my life and then do not practice even though I live in Arizona where it would be easy to do so. I am pushing myself on that one. Thanks for sharing.

By: Lee

Lee — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:30:06 +0000

Thanks for opening up on your post, Marcia. Having forever being someone who strives for perfection, I was dealt a cruel hand, or so I thought for decades, in showing my “imperfection” at not speaking the language in the country in which I live as a first language. I was convinced this lack of fluency pointed to all of my weaknesses, and made every attempt to avoid communication with strangers for way too long.
Until I realized that exactly this “imperfection” is what my USP is, what helps me to stand out from others, and what sells me in many situations much better than a person who can express herself “perfectly” through the language. I gain more trust, especially in difficult situations, because others can relate their imperfection to mine.
I still tend to keep quiet in public, however I am thrilled to be able to finally accept that my crazy accent is actually one of my strongest selling points.

By: Matthew Hooper

Matthew Hooper — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 04:42:51 +0000

Fantastic story. I’m so glad you told this. I see frustration in many people I work with (sorry – but mostly women) who don’t use the natural talents, gifts, and presence they have to accomplish more. I’m not talking about strutting around the office in spandex. I’m talking about leveraging their perceptive powers, attention to detail, the ability to stare a man down. As a Chief Marketing Officer, I envy those qualities, and many times the women I work with just don’t leverage that. Reality is women and men have different traits. Using them is not unfair, or abusive. It’s smart and progressive. I certainly leverage my obliviousness… oh did I say that. Great Blog!

By: Annabelle Drumm

Annabelle Drumm — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 02:35:33 +0000

Awesome blog Marcia. Thanks for sharing your imperfect side with us. I did a wonderful Meisner’s acting course about 10 years ago. We learnt much about being “true to the moment” and using our intuition to read the other person so we could react in a genuine way. I still use the techniques I learnt there in my coaching now to spot when a client is being authentic and when they are hiding how they really feel.
The improvisation acting course is something everyone should try though. It’s a true gift to be able to laugh at yourself before anyone else does! )