Raise your hand for happiness
I just received a rejection notice. I applied to be on the board of a professional association. They turned me down.
Part of me was disappointed, embarrassed, angry, and even worried. The rest of me was utterly relieved. Woo hoo!
While interviewing women for my book, Wander Women, I had a very accomplished woman tell me, “All my life I was taught to raise my hand. Now I’m finally questioning what I’m raising my hand for.”
I do like serving my associations that have given so much to me in the form of education and networking. I have to admit, I also like the attention and prestige I get for holding leadership positions. Yet in meeting my needs, I haven’t done a good job of weighing the costs. Fame can be fatiguing.
In Gone with the Wind, Rhett Butler told Scarlett, “Until you’ve lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is.”
What titles, positions, and roles do you hold onto because you are afraid you won’t be credible without them? What tasks have you taken on that you have come to regret because of the drain on your time and energy?
It’s time we tell the truth about what we are raising our hands for, and create more space for work that is more fulfilling and freeing.
Post your comments at www.BurdenofGreatness.com. Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction will be released June 15th. Stay tuned for more information.
Here’s the test I share in my workshops and the question I have to ask myself again and again…”Just because I could, does it mean I should?”
Thanks, Marcia, for reminding me, my hand can also serve me well resting gently in my lap!
I always enjoy and smile at your honesty Marcia – it’s so true that as busty sucessful women and women who KNOW we can do just about anything we want to can sometimes raise our hand way too many times. Professionally I have found that some of my best new work has come from others requests ……you know – let your audience tell you what they want to hear – but I have also been pulled back into areas of interest I had decided not to do any more JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS ME !! Oh ….we like to fee needed don’t we? Thank you again for stirring up this brain of mine. Janice Hurley-Trailor – The Image Expert
I sheepishly admit that my never-ending need for recognition has been a major reason for me raising my hand so enthusiastically in the past.
I have started realizing however that I am better able to do my work when I am not spread out too thinly, and have decided that giving more of myself to fewer causes results in a better quality of work (not to mention the luxury of having a bit more time for myself!).