The level of risk in any situation is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

Sunday I decided to pay attention to my actions. If I were to give anyone advice about following the mountain trail, I wanted to be clear on the steps I took. While doing so, I realized that the steps for making my hike safe and enjoyable were also good lessons for my business.

First, to get to the top of the first peak, I have to make my way up a crevice near the top. This means I have to rely on my arm strength to pull me up as I find foot holes for balance. Before I move my feet, I have to make sure my grasp is solid. The rocks I am holding onto can’t be loose.

Lesson #1: Before making a risky move, make sure you have something solid to hold onto—facts, plans, friends, and a vision can help.

Second, if I choose to run down the mountains, I find it actually easier and faster to lean forward instead of back. I can see the ground. My motion is more fluid. I’m not putting as much pressure on my joints than if I were to lean backward.

Lesson #2: Instead of relaxing, pick up speed when your tasks are easier. This is your chance to make up time; carving out free time for later. Stay as focused on what you are doing as if you were under pressure; don’t give in to the urge multitask.

Third, there are many forks in the road to choose from. Sometimes the one that looks scarier at the start is the one that has the best path to the top. If I only act by habit, I miss opportunities.

Lesson #3: Don’t just stay on the path you are on. You have to periodically reinvent both your business and your strategy to stay alive in the marketplace. Look around for other paths that might work better now. Test the paths out…know where they go before you say no to a new way.

Fourth, don’t go off the path just because you think it’s a good shortcut (another path is okay, but getting off track is wasteful). Shortcuts never work. I end up with rocks in my socks and cuts from thorny bushes. I often have to backtrack when I find myself facing a brambled wash that could be shelter for a rattlesnake.

Lesson #4: It’s easy to be distracted by promises of easy success or the lure of something you’d rather do than your work.

Fifth, bring more water than you think you need. Wear the right clothing for the weather. Take a friend along to enjoy the journey and to help if something goes wrong.

Lesson #5: If you prepare well, you decrease the risk.

Have a productive, enjoyable and risky week!

I might not need a future trip if I didn’t make the business meeting. My client would only pay for one ticket. I would have to pay thousands of dollars that would not be reimbursed if I chose to play it safe.

I kept asking my colleague in Denmark what I should do. I kept checking the news. Hourly, I checked air prices to see if any deal popped up. I worried. I complained.

Finally, my colleague said, “What would you do differently if you knew the solution would appear with ease and grace?”

Ease and grace? At first, I blew him off. How could I find a solution by sitting back and letting things happen? That felt like giving up.

I tried it anyway, breathing and clearing my mind as I allowed myself to feel “ease and grace.” It wasn’t about giving up. I gave into the feeling of peace that comes with acceptance. I quit struggling to control a situation that was out of my grasp.

In the moment of release, a new solution appeared.

I called one of the airlines that had a flight that wasn’t ideal, but would allow me to get off the plane and arrive in the room with about twenty minutes of breathing time before I met the client. I didn’t buy the flight. I asked how long they could hold it. They said they would hold the reservation for three days.

After three days, British Air was still on strike. I let the reservation lapse with ease and grace and booked it again a few minutes later. This would take me up to the morning I was going to leave.

When I woke the morning that I had to make a decision, I checked the Internet and found the strike had ended. I let the other ticket lapse.

When I boarded the plane that evening, the plane was near empty because so many people had booked other flights. I landed in London to change planes. Heathrow airport was a like ghost town with no waiting lines. Ease and grace.

I arrived well rested the night before the meeting. The next day, we earned the business.

Those of us that love to control situations knowing we can find the right solution if we work hard enough sometimes miss the solution that is out there waiting for us in the bigger picture. We can’t see those options when we are obsessing about finding solutions. We will only see what is bigger, and wiser, than our crazy, busy selves when we relax into this space of possibility with ease and grace.

Try it—the next time you are beating your head against the wall to find an answer, sit back and ask, “What would I do differently if I knew the solution would appear with ease and grace?”

You can’t do ease. You can’t do grace. You have to feel it. When you do, you might be amazed at what shows up for you to do differently to solve your dilemma.

Or maybe it just won’t matter anymore.

If today were my last day on Earth and I could share 500 words of brilliance with the world, here are the important things I’d want to pass along to others…

In our Twitter-crazed, attention-deficit world, 500 words could get lost. Here’s my challenge to you–if you were given one chance to share 250 words or less with the world, what would you say? What piece of wisdom do you hold that if you shared it, it could make a difference? What have you experienced that could yield a great lesson for others?

I had lots of ideas. This is what I came up with today:

I don’t know who first said these words, but the advice is, “Take your work seriously but take yourself lightly.” As an achievement-driven woman, I have often lost my sense of self to my work. My identity then gets wrapped up in the applause I’m hoping to get for the brilliant work I put out. This leaves me vulnerable to judgment; I rely on others to tell me that I’m important. I am only happy when I feel seen.

Although we humans like to feel seen, heard and recognized, this is a never-ending exhausting pursuit. You can’t see what makes you feel incredible in the present. You can’t truly appreciate the fruits of your efforts regardless of what your critics say.

I want for you to take yourself lightly even as you work with passion and intensity. When you are overwhelmed with work or worried about the future, can you stop and be gentle with yourself? Can you laugh at your big fat dreams as much as you hope they will come true?

Step back and be your own guardian angel. What would she want you to feel right now? Learn how to hear this lighter voice, the one that is often overshadowed by the voices that push you to do more.

You can do more. And you can enjoy the journey in the process. When you balance your passion with a “lightness of being” you can remember what is most important to you no matter what people say.

What about you? What words would you like to leave behind if you were to leave the planet today? Share them here. And share what doors this exercise opened for you.

Last week, hidden in the middle of the links to my blog, to Huffington post feeds, and some Twitter comments was the link to the guest-book honoring the death of Marcia Reynolds.

My body froze, eyes stuck to the page. How weird is that? I clicked on the link, both curious to find out who she was and to make sure it wasn’t me they were eulogizing.

This Marcia Reynolds was 84 when she passed. I let out a breath, probably the first in since I read my name.

Someone wrote, “Marcia was the most beautiful woman and soul I have ever known. I will miss her the rest of my life.”

I clicked through my mental Rolodex to see if there is anyone who would write this about me other than the man I live with. I know people will acknowledge my passion, the effect of my work on others, my commitment to my purpose, and so on. Do people see me beyond my work?

Or a better question is, “Do I allow people to see me beyond my work? Do I take the time to sit with the people who I think are beautiful souls for no other reason than to linger in the luscious moment of connection?”

I wrote myself a note to think about this when I had time.

Two days later, another Marcia Reynolds died. Is this a slap on the side of the head or what? I know the universe doesn’t revolve around me, but I am going to take this as a sign anyway.

I am going to hike with a girlfriend tomorrow morning and hang out in a cabana by a resort pool with another friend in the afternoon. I have deadlines. So what. I am a high-achiever. They will get done. But it has been a while since I looked deeply into the eyes of my beautiful friends.

Maybe next on the list will be to give myself time to know myself better away from my work as well.

How will you live up to what you want people to say about you when you die?

Perfectionists aren’t just people preoccupied with details, order and efficiency. If you feel a job must be done your way—the right way—then you are a performance perfectionist.

Besides causing you an enormous amount of stress, your perfectionist frame makes you an annoying colleague and partner. People find it hard working and playing with someone who always knows what’s best. You don’t mean harm, but you appear insensitive.

Your paradigm of perfection is held together by three assumptions which you need to acknowledge and change. This may be difficult because these assumptions have helped you to be amazing. Your greatest strengths overshadow your life’s weaknesses.

Assumption #1: There is a right answer and it is mine

If you are the best and the one who knows, then you have an answer for every question about things that are important to you. No one dares to disagree. Always being right not only hurts your relationships, it is a heavy responsibility to bear.

Assumption #2: Everything is up to me

This assumption implies that things will spin out of control or fail if they aren’t done by you. As a result, you will overwork, take on too many projects, and resist sharing your work with anyone else.

Assumption #3: I will always be disappointed

I hired a coach to help me figure out why I was having trouble maintaining long-term romantic relationships. She asked me, “When will you give up your attachment to being disappointed by your relationships?” Her question took my breath away.

Not long after I started a relationship, I began finding fault with my partner. The truth is—I expected to be disappointed before I ever gave the guy a chance.

Being chronically disappointed with work is the same story. When you are attached to being disappointed with your job or your boss, you don’t ever have to make a commitment to staying. You will give everything you have to your job up front, demonstrating that you should be treasured. Then you will feel let down the moment you aren’t recognized for your work or you aren’t given the best assignment. No matter how excited you were when you took the job, it’s always a matter of time before you have to move on.

To justify your behavior, you create standards that are difficult for anyone to meet. Things and people rarely measure up.

If you don’t release your attachment to disappointment, you will always focus on what is going wrong instead of what is good about anything you do.

The Shift: There is more than one right answer

The key to shifting out of always being right is to consciously choose to learn when you think you already know the answer. You have to deliberately commit to accepting that there is more than one right way to achieve a goal and there is more than one right answer to a question. “There is more than one” must become your mantra.

When your critical mind jumps in, release your breath before opening your mouth. This pausing technique gives you a moment to better assess the situation.

Maybe the person you disagree with is right from their perspective, which differs from yours. Maybe they have a solution that will work as well as yours or better if you can admit it. Maybe your relationship is more important than the perfect result, so the true solution is to 1) see if you can use their ideas or 2) keep your mouth shut.

When you release the tension in your body before you speak, you free your mind to see there is more than one way you can respond.

You can’t get an A in personal growth

Committing to growth is itself a lesson in humility, patience and imperfection. Changing your assumptions takes more time than you want to give. The good news is that the quicker you admit to your assumptions and quiet your critical mind, the quicker the new you will emerge.

You’ll find more detailed explanation and tips for growth in the book, Wander Woman: How High Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction. Launch date is June 15th!

Have you ever considered that you might lose more time rushing to be punctual than if you took your eyes off the clock for a few moments?

I always felt that being punctual meant I was efficient and respectful of the people who otherwise would have wait for me. Not that I am always on time—but I feel guilty and forced to find some lame excuse if I let myself be late.

After teaching for a week in Madrid, I have another idea.

In some Latin American countries, the participants of my classes felt that being 10 to 20 minutes late was acceptable because that is what they always did. I had to accept this practice, but I still don’t like it.

However in Madrid, most of the participants seemed to have an internal clock that had them casually arrive within the first few minutes of the start time. They weren’t really late. Nor were they early.

I noticed the same behavior and feeling when we met for dinner or at the end of the week as people were leaving for the airport. There never seemed to be in a rush. No one kept their eyes on the clock. When it was time to go, it was time to go.

Even when the class went a little late in the evening because lunch lasted two hours instead of one (which made me crazy), no one complained, pushed or even seemed to notice. The focus was on what was important in the moment. We would do what we had to do in a suitable time frame.

Yet I couldn’t articulate this sense until the last day. I was having coffee with one of the participants before it was time to leave. I kept looking at the clock to make sure I wouldn’t be late for my cab. Finally she said, “Why do you worry so much about time? You will be there when the taxi comes. All will be well.”

I am not sure I can shift to trusting my internal clock as well as she does, but this made me aware of how much time I waste worrying about being on time. Her words also made me see that I was missing the chance to focus on the glorious moment enjoying a coffee in Madrid with a wise woman I may never see again.

What about you? Do you always feel in a rush? What would happen, really, if you slowed down and took life a little easier knowing you would be on time for what is important anyway?

I now know that time management is more about how I feel about time than how I prioritize my tasks.

Please share your ideas on dealing with a sense of time here so we can all figure out the best ways to find more time to live.

Brian shared the distinction between having creative production goals and outcome goals. He said one of the main reasons people experience disappointment, anger and frustration in their lives is that they set up outcome goals based in the future with no idea what joys or pitfalls tomorrow will bring.

Additionally, if you focus solely on what you might receive once you get the great job, retire from the crappy job, publish the book, find the right spouse, or buy the cool car or big house, you are living in a world that doesn’t exist while you sacrifice the real, tangible and juicy moments that are real.

I found this focus a particularly useful distinction for the high-achievers I work with because they, and I, often get so lost in tasks we must complete to achieve some future goal that we lose days, weeks and years of the joy we might feel creating in the moment. Then we don’t celebrate our achievements because we are quickly on to the next task to check off the list.

Your creative production goals are what you want to complete right now. Brian says that when you engage in doing good work and then move on to do more good work, you will naturally lift your spirits by paying attention to your spirit. This gives you a chance to be more intentional about what you choose to work on in the moment, choosing work you enjoy doing instead of sacrificing for some unknown future you have no control over.

This does not mean you can’t have big dreams of outcome goals. Your bigger, future possibilities should be the guiding star for making your choices in the moment. You may not ever achieve your big goals; something else could happen which may be good too. But your big goals provide a distinct path to follow as you enjoy your journey. Then be prepared to easily shift your big goals when other possibilities arise or you have to move in a different direction.

Therefore, always be asking yourself, “For what purpose am I choosing my current activity?” Can you honestly claim these statements:

1. I know that what I am doing right now will help move me to my higher aspiration and
2. I enjoy completing this activity.

Brian told us that Tal Ben-Shahar, author of Happier, says we can live in four states. If we have only an outcome-based, future goal-focus, we are a Rat Racer. But if we only live in the now with no goals, we are a Hedonist. If we live aimlessly in the now with no future goals, we are a personally destructive Annihalist. But if we spend most of our focus on the creative production goals we can manifest in the moment knowing they will help us create a future that will be good, we are Happier.

Brian did say that discipline is the path to “Blissipline” meaning that in order to do our best work in accomplishing our creative production goals we should also find ways to enjoy staying healthy and practice these rituals daily. He has found good food he enjoys and daily rituals he practices before reading his email and other mindless tasks that trap his brain in ruts. He said that we need clear, healthy minds to create the work that we are most happy with.

With this is mind….

• What great things will you accomplish today?
• What creative production goal will you choose right now?
• If your goal was not “what will I do?” but instead, “who will I be right now?” what would change?

Please share your goals and your thoughts here.

What’s similar about these women who reject the notion of work/life balance is the level of passion they have for their work. When they find their work gives them a strong sense of purpose and satisfaction, they happily work from early morning to late at night. Even if they squeeze in time for self-care and family, they don’t see the need to equally balance their schedules.

One woman told me she felt lost before she found the job she over-commits her time to. She works for a no-kill animal shelter. When not at work, she thinks about how to improve the care of her “children” and raise funds for the shelter. Before she found this work, she spent more time with friends but often drank too much and then squandered her weekends nursing hangovers. She still shares moments with two good friends and visits her sister’s family on holidays, but loves her active life at work. She is happily out of balance.

Instead of working on equally balancing activities, I work with these clients on balancing their minds and bodies. They can happily live with their passionate obsession if they don’t tip into mental and physical fatigue. Here are some tips for maintaining mental balance when you reject work/life balance.

In order to sustain an active mind while passionately doing what you love:

1. Keep your body healthy. If you want to maintain a long work schedule, then you need to keep your body in good working order. Start the day with exercise so you don’t end the day with no time for the gym (go outside before you read your email!). Make sure you eat healthy meals instead of what you can gobble down in quick breaks. Sleep at least seven hours so you are at your peak for the other seventeen.

2. Maintain social bonds. No matter if you think you don’t need anyone’s help, you are a human with social needs. In his book, Born to Be Good, Dachel Keltner claims that true survival of humanity is due to our need for belonging and our need to have people care about us. Also, when you have good interactions with others, you activate the brain regions that improve health and increase creativity and productivity.

Whether it’s your family or your friends—hopefully both—nurture a few significant relationships at work and away. If you go to a movie once a week, enjoy some time after the show talking about what you saw. Eat meals together. Take walks. Lay on the ground and watch the sun cross the sky. Your social connections will help you do you do your best work.

3. Regularly notice the world around you. I get acupuncture once a month to reset my overtaxed body. It was my acupuncturist who first told me that I was disconnected. He then prescribed a daily dose of going outside, smelling the air, appreciating the trees and feeling the ground beneath my feet. When I reconnect with nature, I reconnect with my soul.

The beauty of these tips is that you can combine them by going for walks with family and friends. You can still work into the night and wake up excited about the work you will do next. Balance your body and mind if you would rather not balance your activities by breaking for exercise, breaking bread with those you love, and taking moments to connect with nature.

Marcia Reynolds is a coach who teaches leadership classes worldwide. Her book, Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction will be released June 2010. Read more at  www.WanderWomanBook.com

Always being right not only hurts your relationships, but it is also a heavy responsibility to bear. You have to work harder to discount other people’s ideas than if you just looked for the value in their suggestions.

Yet, because “being the one who knows” is foundational to your sense of self, you may feel uncomfortable letting go of this persona. The practice is worth it — life is so much easier and healthier when you don’t have to be right.

Opening my mind to the possibility that someone else could come up with a useful idea was a breakthrough in my relationship with my former boss. I was complaining to my coach about how my boss disrespected me by forcing me to accept his ideas without hearing mine when she explained,

“He is doing his best with the amount of light he has; his light is small while yours is large. But he is doing his best with what he has.”

I loved that explanation until she added, “Now, you have the responsibility to model what big light looks like.”

I knew she was right. If I was truly “the person who knows better” then I had to slow down my negative reactions to his contrary ideas.

Funny thing—when I quieted my defensive mind enough to hear him out, I found some interesting kernels in what he proposed. When I began acknowledging his ideas, he in turn asked to hear mine, which he then praised.

That’s when I realized that two people who like to be right will never have a satisfying discussion until one of them lowers the wall.

Here’s my challenge to you…let someone else be right this week on something that matters to you. You can offer another point of view, but only after you acknowledge that their perception has value. Let me know what happens.

Taken from Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction, to be released June 15th. You can reply to this post at www.BurdenofGreatness.com

Part of me was disappointed, embarrassed, angry, and even worried. The rest of me was utterly relieved. Woo hoo!

While interviewing women for my book, Wander Women, I had a very accomplished woman tell me, “All my life I was taught to raise my hand. Now I’m finally questioning what I’m raising my hand for.”

I do like serving my associations that have given so much to me in the form of education and networking. I have to admit, I also like the attention and prestige I get for holding leadership positions. Yet in meeting my needs, I haven’t done a good job of weighing the costs. Fame can be fatiguing.

In Gone with the Wind, Rhett Butler told Scarlett, “Until you’ve lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is.”

What titles, positions, and roles do you hold onto because you are afraid you won’t be credible without them? What tasks have you taken on that you have come to regret because of the drain on your time and energy?

It’s time we tell the truth about what we are raising our hands for, and create more space for work that is more fulfilling and freeing.

Post your comments at www.BurdenofGreatness.com. Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction will be released June 15th. Stay tuned for more information.