There are many exercises available on how to 1) vision possible futures, 2) identify strengths and passion, and 3) determine what to do first on your journey. I have blogged on these topics and Google can suggest many sites with techniques you can try.

An off-beat idea is to study your regrets. We tend to want to forget our regrets. I’ve read lots of quotes telling me not to have regrets (which is humanly impossible) or that regrets are just lessons (maybe, but they are still regrets).

The more you experience life, the more you look back on decisions you made with the sense that if you only knew then what you know now, you would have chosen differently. There is great wisdom in hindsight.

Yet hindsight can give you great foresight if you study your regrets.

What are you sorry for that you did or did not do? The answer to this question can give you great insight on what could be missing in your life.

Of course, there is no purpose in beating yourself up, again, for the decisions you made in the past. You had a reason you believed in. What you can do is use the loss you still feel to help you focus on what you want to create this year and beyond.

Consider these questions:

1. What do I miss or wish I would have done? Can I factor these losses into my plans for this year?
2. Do I still feel guilty for not doing something I think I should have? Is there a way I can complete this situation this year so I can move on whole-heartedly?
3. What is still stopping me now from doing what I really want to do or getting what I want? What can I do to remove these obstacles?
4. Have I set the right standards for my own success? Maybe I’m not celebrating what I have today regardless of what I thought it should look like. And if I want more for myself, can I clearly paint that picture looking forward instead of backwards?

If you call up and clearly identify what you regret, you can use this information to help you focus on the future. Your regrets can help you make major life decisions.

What insights do your regrets give you?

He didn’t live to fit into the system. He lived to create what he thought was possible.

Quoting Stewart Brand, editor of the Whole Earth catalog, Jobs told the Stanford graduating class to “Stay hungry. Stay foolish.” How can you live by these wise words especially in times of economic problems and dark omens of the future?

For me, the most significant word is not hungry or foolish, but “stay.”

No person has accomplished great things without a passion for their work and strong beliefs that what they are doing is right and good for many.

And even with passion and conviction, there has to be endurance. I recently heard education expert Sir Ken Robinson say, “We live in a veil of beliefs and values.” If your life’s work is about lifting the veil so others can see the beauty of what else is possible, then you need to know how to persist even when it feels futile.

The Dalai Lama said, “To be born at all is a miracle. What will you do with your life?”

Stay hungry. Stay foolish.

If money weren’t an issue, what change would you like to make? What movement would you like to create or add your voice to? What were you once passionate about but gave up hope?

Is there any reason that you would like to say, “Oh yeah, I’ll show you!” Great things have come out of the desire to prove others are wrong about us and our ideas.

Could it be that you haven’t stepped out or you gave up because what you tried didn’t seem to work?

Maybe it’s time to try again. Start small. Prove what you know is right with little experiments so you have inspiring data instead of just an idea.

Find people to work with that support your point of view. Stay away from people who tell you to play it safe.

Steve Jobs left a legacy that I believe is critical for women to live into. We must stay hungry and foolish to create a world where everyone can live up to their greatest potential. Will you join me in realizing this vision?

Giselle had a dream less than a year ago to create a gathering for women in Trinidad committed to exploring possibilities for their lives. She had never created an event before. She asked if she could use my writing along with her own to print articles in the Trinidad Express to help create a following of women who would then pay to see me speak at the event in a year.

Giselle created a vision and didn’t let anyone talk her out of it. In fact, she decided that she would ask the women to sign up for not just an event but an entire year of coaching and teletraining so the like-minded passionate and purpose-driven women would work together to create their futures. The event where I was to speak turned into a kickoff for the year-long program.

Last week, as I stood in front of 50 beautiful Trinidadian women, I asked the question, “What is keeping you small?” I felt Giselle’s presence behind me, a shining example of a woman who decided to play large and step into her dream with trust and passion. Not only did she fill the room, but she attracted sponsors to pay the expenses, including my travel and speaking fee plus those of one other incredible speaker, Karen Walrond (check out her chookooloonks website if you want to see a tribute to the beauty of life).

I was even interviewed on Trinidad TV along with Giselle, another example of her ability to ask for what she needed and strangers, now friends, said yes.

What seeds of dreams do you have just waiting to sprout? What is stopping you from bringing them to light? What is keeping you small?

Giselle offers a World of Possibilities for women. Check her out on Facebook when you need some inspiration. I am lucky to have her in my life.

And Giselle, since I know you will read this, I want to publicly thank you and Anastasia for the delightful two days in Tobago after the event. You definitely win the best host award. I learned to not only choose to be with those who dream big, but accept the gifts and surprises that come with the package.

I can’t wait to visit your beautiful country again and to have you visit mine.

I loved that the author shared how Thanksgiving is celebrated around the world. It’s not an American holiday, yet I would bet most Americans think we invented it.

In truth, we tapped in to a wonderful tradition observed by many countries and cultures:

“Thanksgiving was celebrated in Canada on the second Monday of October this year, as it has been since 1957, to offer thanks at the end of the harvest season. Chung Ch’ui in China and Chuseok in Korea are major three-day national thanksgiving harvest festivals whose date of celebration varies slightly each year during the nations’ harvest seasons. Among other countries that celebrate a national day of thanks are Australia, part of India, Japan, Liberia and Malaysia. Many other nations hold a variety of events to express gratitude for their nations’ harvests.”

So many people lack a global perspective. I am grateful that as I work around the world, I see the world in a different way. There are amazing people everywhere I go. My perspective has changed from Us vs. Them to We Are All One. Because I travel, I have experienced this first hand.

I wish I could transfer this feeling to everyone I touch.

This year, while you are feeling grateful for your life and the people you love, see if you can open your heart to pray for peace, love and abundance for all people around the world. Then do it again the day after Thanksgiving, and every day when you have a quiet moment to share.

However, discovering your unique, value-creating capacity is not that easy. You may devalue your core contribution by thinking that what you do naturally is not that great. Or you don’t spend time developing your unique potential when you are busy doing other things, like surviving or focusing on what you think you should be doing.

Larry says this truth applies to organizations as well as to individuals. People who run companies forget what formed their core identity, leaving the employees little to align their efforts around and hitch their passion to. Everyone should know what made the organization distinctive from the beginning and what special contribution they provide in the form of products or services. And they should be proud of this unique value proposition.

The Exercise

Step 1. One way of beginning to discover your “proprietary contribution” is to list your eight most important achievements in life. Start with as far back as you can remember. What are you most proud of from your grade school days? What special thing did you do as a young adult? What amazing things did you create or overcome in the past twenty years?

Put your accomplishments on index cards or PostIt™ notes, one per note. Then arrange them in a circle.

Step 2. Can you find the thread or theme that fits for each accomplishment? Look for the energy it took for you to reach your goals or the desire that fueled your sustainability. What circumstances were similar in each situation? Can you discover one strength, value, feeling or attitude for each achievement?

Step 3. Give your force a name or label. It could be as large as “breaking boundaries” or as sweet as “making connections.” See what comes up when you connect your dots.

This thread is your life force. When you express this thread, you achieve amazing things. If this thread is suppressed, you feel trapped or numb.

This life force is fundamental to your success in life. It forms the foundation of who you are. It gives you the power to stay on track no matter what.

This force never changes. You might express your identity differently in different situations and times in your life, but this energy and the need to express it is consistent.

What is your life force?

This is a simple exercise to introduce you to Larry’s work. If you like this exercise, check out www.theidentitycircle.com.

Many people have been forced to rethink who they are and what they do. This is good. We all need to regularly re-invent our work and renew our enthusiasm for our daily lives.

At the same time, many people are lured into the promise, “Do what you love and the money will follow.” This is bad. If you don’t know how to articulate what you do in a way that other people would love to be with you, no one will run to you with cash in hand. If you don’t have the energy and time to do what it takes to create widespread visibility, you will remain a well-kept secret.

It is important to have passion for what you do, no matter who you work for. If people don’t sense your enthusiasm for your ideas and plans, they will be cautious about aligning with you or buying from you. Even if they decide to work with you, if you aren’t emotionally engaged you won’t do your best work.

But passion isn’t enough. Living off love for your work has created many starving artists.

Launch your business or choose your career path with passion. Look for what tasks energize you, what things you look forward to doing and what makes you feel good when your work is done.

Then make sure the work you choose is not only work you do better than anyone you know, but you are providing a product or service people want and are willing to pay for.

What special knowledge or expertise have you developed? Even if you think you don’t want to do what you have been doing anymore, you might find a way you can share what you know that feels better than your last job. Maybe you can help non-profits that have a special meaning for you. Maybe you can coach or teach others not to make the mistakes you made on your journey (then help them to be more successful than you…I’ve done that one although I then have to rethink my own approach). Maybe you can write and speak on what it took to be successful in your field.

Once you have some ideas, you can start the research…yes research. Gut instinct is unreliable when judging the outside world. Look at who your competition will be. Can you do what they do but better? Who are they targeting – are they missing some people you think need your help?

One of the easiest ways to weed through your ideas is to write a business plan. It doesn’t have to be long, but it should cover the basics of who will be your customers, how you will connect with them and how much it will cost to get started.

Follow your dreams, but learn how to hustle.

More than anything, they wanted to make an impact, in the workplace or for their customers. If their work didn’t prove to be meaningful to them, they wandered in search of their purpose.

Kelly, said, “If my work doesn’t give me a sense that I am doing something special, I’m not happy. That’s when I feel most restless–when I get so busy that I lose an internal sense that what I’m doing is important beyond making a profit.”

The problem is that they kept repeating this pattern. They kept searching for something more, then felt disappointed when they didn’t find it. They felt their work didn’t align with their life purpose, but they couldn’t articulate what that purpose was.

So how do you define your purpose? Most likely you know when your sense of purpose is missing, but if you can’t define what gives you this feeling, you leave its appearance in your life to chance. Then you feel restless, discontented and disappointed more than you feel fulfilled.

First, know that there is a difference between having a “life purpose” which is a specific destination and having a “sense of purpose” which is feeling that provides you direction. Having a sense of direction will help you make career and life choices even if you don’t have a specific life purpose.

Declaring a definitive purpose defines a specific destination. The latter—living with a sense of purpose—identifies a feeling. If you haven’t identified your life purpose, choosing to find your direction over a destination can makes your life easier. You can quit beating yourself up for not having one purpose in life.

When you release the need to know the definitive answer to the purpose question, you live for a feeling instead of a goal. You appreciate what sparks your love, gratitude, laughter, pride and awe instead of losing these moments to your to-do lists.

We look too hard to find a unique, profound, and tangible reason for our existence. Instead, seek to discover everything that makes you feel alive and connected.

I’m not saying it’s wrong to have a life purpose. I honor those who have found it. The rest of us may stumble upon one someday. In the meantime, choose to enjoy the gifts of contentment, love and gratitude for the sunshine and people in your life today.

First determine what having a sense of purpose feels like to you. Then you can recognize what ignites these feelings. Once you identify what sparks your laughter, love, passion and pride, you have the means to determine if you are on a purposeful path or if you need to shift your direction.

Your sense of purpose then becomes the guiding light that keeps you focused as you wander through life. When you passionately live with a strong sense of purpose, you can remember what is most important to you no matter what difficulties you face.

What brings you joy and fulfillment may change over time so you may feel you have lost your sense of direction. Allow the source to change. There is no right or wrong answers to the question, “What makes me feel alive and connected right now?”

Just ask and see what shows up.

Adapted from Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction

If today were my last day on Earth and I could share 500 words of brilliance with the world, here are the important things I’d want to pass along to others…

In our Twitter-crazed, attention-deficit world, 500 words could get lost. Here’s my challenge to you–if you were given one chance to share 250 words or less with the world, what would you say? What piece of wisdom do you hold that if you shared it, it could make a difference? What have you experienced that could yield a great lesson for others?

I had lots of ideas. This is what I came up with today:

I don’t know who first said these words, but the advice is, “Take your work seriously but take yourself lightly.” As an achievement-driven woman, I have often lost my sense of self to my work. My identity then gets wrapped up in the applause I’m hoping to get for the brilliant work I put out. This leaves me vulnerable to judgment; I rely on others to tell me that I’m important. I am only happy when I feel seen.

Although we humans like to feel seen, heard and recognized, this is a never-ending exhausting pursuit. You can’t see what makes you feel incredible in the present. You can’t truly appreciate the fruits of your efforts regardless of what your critics say.

I want for you to take yourself lightly even as you work with passion and intensity. When you are overwhelmed with work or worried about the future, can you stop and be gentle with yourself? Can you laugh at your big fat dreams as much as you hope they will come true?

Step back and be your own guardian angel. What would she want you to feel right now? Learn how to hear this lighter voice, the one that is often overshadowed by the voices that push you to do more.

You can do more. And you can enjoy the journey in the process. When you balance your passion with a “lightness of being” you can remember what is most important to you no matter what people say.

What about you? What words would you like to leave behind if you were to leave the planet today? Share them here. And share what doors this exercise opened for you.

Last week, hidden in the middle of the links to my blog, to Huffington post feeds, and some Twitter comments was the link to the guest-book honoring the death of Marcia Reynolds.

My body froze, eyes stuck to the page. How weird is that? I clicked on the link, both curious to find out who she was and to make sure it wasn’t me they were eulogizing.

This Marcia Reynolds was 84 when she passed. I let out a breath, probably the first in since I read my name.

Someone wrote, “Marcia was the most beautiful woman and soul I have ever known. I will miss her the rest of my life.”

I clicked through my mental Rolodex to see if there is anyone who would write this about me other than the man I live with. I know people will acknowledge my passion, the effect of my work on others, my commitment to my purpose, and so on. Do people see me beyond my work?

Or a better question is, “Do I allow people to see me beyond my work? Do I take the time to sit with the people who I think are beautiful souls for no other reason than to linger in the luscious moment of connection?”

I wrote myself a note to think about this when I had time.

Two days later, another Marcia Reynolds died. Is this a slap on the side of the head or what? I know the universe doesn’t revolve around me, but I am going to take this as a sign anyway.

I am going to hike with a girlfriend tomorrow morning and hang out in a cabana by a resort pool with another friend in the afternoon. I have deadlines. So what. I am a high-achiever. They will get done. But it has been a while since I looked deeply into the eyes of my beautiful friends.

Maybe next on the list will be to give myself time to know myself better away from my work as well.

How will you live up to what you want people to say about you when you die?

When you read these words, don’t they seem a little silly? Who knows what will happen tomorrow? And just when you think we have everything under control, something unexpected happens, right?

So you are most stressed out by two things that you can’t have: control and predictability.

What’s worse is that the more financially successful you are, the more fear you will lose what you have. This includes your status, possessions, relationships, and dreams.

Throughout my coaching career, I’ve had many clients who came to me at a very successful stage in their lives, at least from outward appearances. They had made a lot of money, they liked their work, they had supportive and healthy relationships and they had no serious health problems.

However, they vacillated between feeling angry or anxious throughout the day. Why were they unable to enjoy their achievements?

I found two areas missing in their lives: 1) the ability to enjoy the moment and let the future play itself out as it may and 2) goals based on “who” they are instead of what they acquire so they could find purpose in their being instead of their doing.

Whether you are just starting to see gains in your life or you have a long tally of goals you have achieved, the following tips will help you maintain the feeling of mastery over your destiny.

TIP #1: Recognize that the more you try to hold on to what you have today, the greater is your stress. Ask yourself each morning, “What is at stake today, really?” Then ask, “If anything is at stake, what can I do to make today’s story turn out well?” Quit focusing on what you might lose or what the end result might be. Focus on living a wonderful story every moment and you’ll feel a sense of freedom like never before. Then….

TIP #2: Trust that whatever happens, things will always work out because they always do. It is impossible to perfectly handle everything. Accidents happen. Misunderstandings occur. To err is human. However, catastrophes are rare. Up to now, you have handled difficulties, pain, and crisis well enough to be where you are today. Trust that if problems occur, you have the skills and wisdom to deal with them. Then shift your thoughts to what you are grateful for.

TIP #3: If your entire life is focused on achieving external goals, you will feel empty once you reach them. However, if instead you focus on how successful you can be as a human, you will never run out of things to work on. Make a list of what makes you a worthy friend, partner, and parent. Add to the list the special gifts you possess that helped you to realize the successes, large and small, in your life.

Once you have your list, tell yourself, “My only responsibility is to maximize my positive traits, talents, and gifts.” Whenever you feel a little unsure or powerless, read your list and recite the statement above. What would your life be like if the only decision you had to make was how you can contribute to your world based on your talents, traits, and gifts?

In my new book, Wander Woman, I say, “The illusions you live by set you up for the inevitable disillusions you experience.” It is an illusion to think you will know exactly what will happen or be in total control. The best you can do is let go of grasping at thin air. When you do, you will know freedom. And you will better see what a beautiful life you have.