I liked the movie. I felt the lead character represented the most common reason I found in my research why women wander: they don’t know who they are and what they want.

The problem is that they spend many years leaving what they don’t want anymore (physically or mentally) without having a clear picture of what they do want.

Even if they had a clear idea of what they wanted for their lives, at some point, they forget. Here’s a story of a woman I coached who felt overwhelmed at work. What we discovered was that she didn’t have a problem prioritizing; she had a problem feeling inspired by her work because she didn’t know why she was there.

As in the case with my client, sometimes reviving an old dream can give you back your North Star .

Sometimes you have to crystallize the picture of your new dream—what would a perfect day at work or in your relationship look like?

Sometimes the picture isn’t ready to come forth, but you can discover what gives you a sense of purpose in your life and do what it takes to have this experience more often. Look at your day and determine what you are doing only because you should. Then look at what you are doing because you want to do it.

Once you begin to understand what you want to create for yourself, ask yourself:

1. What can I start doing today to ease my transition?
2. What about my new life can I begin to integrate into my current work and life?
3. Who can I ask to support me in making my transition?
4. What do I need to do to stay committed to my choices?

Although the notion of taking a year off and living in Italy, India and Bali to discover myself sounds delightful, I learned what I’m sharing with you sitting at my desk and sometimes wandering into the mountains at the end of my road. I hope this helps you figure out the road you want to be on before you take too many unfulfilling detours.

Last week, hidden in the middle of the links to my blog, to Huffington post feeds, and some Twitter comments was the link to the guest-book honoring the death of Marcia Reynolds.

My body froze, eyes stuck to the page. How weird is that? I clicked on the link, both curious to find out who she was and to make sure it wasn’t me they were eulogizing.

This Marcia Reynolds was 84 when she passed. I let out a breath, probably the first in since I read my name.

Someone wrote, “Marcia was the most beautiful woman and soul I have ever known. I will miss her the rest of my life.”

I clicked through my mental Rolodex to see if there is anyone who would write this about me other than the man I live with. I know people will acknowledge my passion, the effect of my work on others, my commitment to my purpose, and so on. Do people see me beyond my work?

Or a better question is, “Do I allow people to see me beyond my work? Do I take the time to sit with the people who I think are beautiful souls for no other reason than to linger in the luscious moment of connection?”

I wrote myself a note to think about this when I had time.

Two days later, another Marcia Reynolds died. Is this a slap on the side of the head or what? I know the universe doesn’t revolve around me, but I am going to take this as a sign anyway.

I am going to hike with a girlfriend tomorrow morning and hang out in a cabana by a resort pool with another friend in the afternoon. I have deadlines. So what. I am a high-achiever. They will get done. But it has been a while since I looked deeply into the eyes of my beautiful friends.

Maybe next on the list will be to give myself time to know myself better away from my work as well.

How will you live up to what you want people to say about you when you die?

Therefore, I put a lot of thought into my Huffington posts. I immediately received a lot of traffic. I was told that for an “unknown” my numbers were respectable. Yet the comments were mixed, from people adamantly agreeing with my views to people telling me I’m out of touch and calling me the f-word: feminist.

Most of the people that sign up for my own blogs are people I know and who like me or people who have heard me speak and who like me. They tend to see the world as I do. If they don’t, they respectfully offer an alternative perspective.

Although some of my friends have followed me to Huffington, many of my readers there are strangers. Some have become my fans. Others obviously see the world differently than I do. Some of these readers don’t like me.

At first this bothered me. My emotional triggers sparked with activity. I had cool, smart things to say. They should be praising my brilliance. I found that I wanted to explain myself and use my wit to blast them into compliance.

Then my logical brain kicked in. First, I rationalized all the remarks with “all press is good press” because I’m trying to increase my visibility. Then my trailing good sense finally had its chance to say, “If you are being true to your mission and message, then bringing out the naysayers is a good thing.” Maybe I’ll convert some of them, probably not most of them. But I have to allow for the full conversation to take place. I believe that’s the point of blogging.

Most of all, I realized I need to be strong in my resolve and my self-esteem to let these comments fly by me. I have been working on not getting hooked emotionally for years when I teach leadership classes to traditional managers in hierarchical companies. Now I have another chance to stand strong with my beliefs in the face of ridicule.

To top it off, some of these comments have opened my eyes to other possibilities. This means I am strong enough to be open to new ideas as well.

Even if you have your own blog, try guest blogging for other sites. Link your blog to Facebook. Share the link to your blog with discussion groups on LinkedIn (one of my blog posts has spawned a two-week heated discussion in a Women’s Leadership LinkedIn group). Get your ideas out into the world in new ways. Then be prepared to accept the flurry of comments with strength and grace.

Please consider sharing your comments and links to your blogs here. Then let’s all comment on each others’ ideas.

I have a new blog site at www.WanderWomanBook.com. I am now posting there first. Supposedly, the posts then link to this site for you to read within 48 hours. As I learned today, this system isn’t perfect.

To remedy this, you can
1) sign up to receive my posts immediately at www.WanderWomanBook.com where I will also be sharing book chapters and news about the upcoming book. Then you can either unsubscribe here or reply to this email and I will do it for you.
2) Remain on this list and bear with me as I work out all the bugs. I will do my best to keep this clean.

Thank you for your understanding. And happy International Women’s Day!

I would love to share a great resource with you. The NAWBO Smart Briefs provides links to up-to-date stories of interest to women business owners published in the major U.S. news sources. They send it to you in a newsletter with thumbnails of the articles so you can read only what appeals to you. You can subscribe at http://www.nawbo.org/ or reply to this blogpost and forward you the latest Brief for you to review first.

Have a great weekend!

That’s when I decided to do my dissertation on the current generation of high-achieving women, specifically looking at what personal factors serve or frustrate their aspirations.

I was right. There’s a new generation of women in the workplace. They grew up in the self-help era so they are more confident and bold than most of the women who came before them. They engaged in competitive sports at school, giving them a sense of physical as well as mental strength. They have advanced and professional degrees.

At work, they want frequent new challenges. They love being busy and hate feeling bored. They want to be valued, respected and recognized and will work hard to deserve this. Yet they struggle when they feel pigeon-holed, underutilized, micro-managed, slowed down, and ignored.

What I found most interesting was how these women are redefining their relationships. Of the women I surveyed, 95% of those married or living with someone either made the same amount of money or more than their partners. They weren’t looking for a man to take care of them; they desired someone who would be their life partner, sharing in all the responsibilities, be it child-rearing or taking out the garbage.

When I shared these facts with the women I surveyed, many of them asked if they could meet the other women. They didn’t realize so many other women felt like them. They often felt like they were the only ones who worked so hard and cared so much at work. Wouldn’t it be great if they could share their thoughts, dreams, frustrations and victories?

So I created this Blog.

One of the first papers I wrote in graduate schools was called, “The Burden of Greatness” where I looked at the light and dark side of having a strong drive for achievement. So I created this Blog where women who are driven to achieve can meet, share ideas, rant, dream and learn. Please post your comments and insights, and send me articles. I will share with you my research to increase your self-awareness, and tips to help you get what you most desire in your life.

This is your site. It is a place to come home. You deserve it.